ALIAS: HARDTIME Wanted for associating with musicians of ill repute.
	ALIAS: NILKNARF Wanted for jaywalking while marching in formation.
	ALIAS: BOXMAN Wanted for illegal lubrication of his slide bone.
	ALIAS: AXEL Wanted for public drunkeness and disorderly conduct. May be in possession of multiple beers at once. Use caution.
	ALIAS: FLATTOP Wanted in connection with the unauthorized use of written dynamics.