ALIAS: BOXMAN Wanted for illegal lubrication of his slide bone.

ALIAS: MELLO Wanted by the ASPCA for extreme cruelty to (trum)pets.

ALIAS: BEBOP Wanted on suspicion of frenching a french horn.

ALIAS: ROOSTER Wanted for unlawful possession of controlled instrument.

ALIAS: SCREECH Wanted on 536 counts of draining a spit valve onto unsuspecting pedestrians.